moving on

so toby and i are over. it was probably the easiest breakup i've ever had. i was the one that actually brought it up, but we both knew it was coming. i mean, we're so very different, which was interesting at first, but now it's like... eh. i don't know. things weren't working as well as they used to.

we had a huge fight about a week ago. the biggest ever. we both said things and brought up things that we shouldn't have. things that were built up. and things that we knew would just punch each other's buttons. so i took off. drove to a friend's house. cried the whole way there, so i couldn't see where i was driving. besides the fact that i was too drunk to be driving anyway. i've never really driven drunk before. i hate drunken driving-- and i would go on about how stupid it is but every one knows that.

i stayed at that friend's house for five whole days. wouldn't return his calls. basically just shut my life off from everything.

then a couple days ago, i went to his house. we chatted for a few minutes like nothing had happened. i wanted him to start talking about the other night.

he started off saying he was really sorry about the other night. that he was way out of line, too drunk, and it should have never happened. i said i understood and that i was also sorry for taking it so badly.

we talked for a long time about everything. and it was really good. but by the end of the conversation, it was basically unsaid that it was over. and that was ok on both sides. so we popped in a movie, had a couple beers, and cuddled on the couch until it was time for me to go.

we're still going to be good friends, i can just tell. our personalities go so well together. just hanging out is the best with him because there is never a dull moment. we go nuts together. and i love him.

but it is time to move on.

 2003-04-11 - 2:55 a.m.

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